Ok so you got the amazing (or potentially startling) news that you’re pregnant! If you’re anything like me, there were about a million things running through my head when I saw that positive test. I took the test one morning because I felt a little “off”…I really didn’t think it would be positive. I had taken it while my husband was at work so I was home alone with my dog and can’t describe the emotions that were running through me. Excitement, Nervousness, Fear, Worry, and an “Is this test actually accurate?!”
I’m not here to judge or tell you what to expect when you find out you’re going to have a baby but know that you’re in good company because I pretty much had every thought cross my mind. It’s a lot to process knowing your life is going to change in 9 months. When I look back at my pregnancy, I realize that I had this view on pregnancy that wasn’t totally accurate. I had heard all about different pregnancies through friends, my family, my mom, my coworkers, etc. but there are things they leave out. I’m here to tell you some of the things that maybe you haven’t heard before that were completely new to me. I also must caveat and say that these are just 5 of the hundreds of things I’ve learned. Although there are a lot of emotions and different feelings, it is fun to enter this new stage and learn a lot. I’m sure I will have many more posts about other learnings but for now, I had to simplify down to the top 5 unexpected truths:
- Things do NOT go according to plan. I am a planner. I like being organized. I like knowing what to expect. I had to learn to let go of my expectation that pregnancy would follow a plan which turned out to be a pretty great thing for me – it has helped me ‘go with the flow’ a little more. I didn’t get pregnant when I thought I would, I thought I would have a cute baby bump to show off (I eventually did but not until WAY later than expected), I thought I would love being pregnant, I thought the doctors appointments would go smoothly…so many things I expected that just didn’t hold true.
- Time is strange and goes by surprisingly fast. One day I was telling my family and friends and the next I was telling work and the next I was creating my labor plan..I tried to savor the moments but it really does go by quickly and when I hit that 8th month I started wondering where the time went because I felt like I still had a hundred things to do before the baby arrived. Something that I really savor now is a journal I did every week. It was super simple and took maybe 5 minutes a week but I love looking back on my experience and remembering the little things since time did go by quickly. This is the journal I used but there are a ton of various options out there.
- You have to set boundaries. It is amazing that some of the closest friends and the people you trust most will start to give opinions, recommendations, and even comment on your body. It is all with good intent but it really rattled me and made me really upset at times. I remember bawling to my husband after my mother in law told me that the baby was looking really big and she didn’t think I’d make it to my due date. Again, these things come out of positive intent and love and excitement but for a hormonal pregnant lady, these comments can be really upsetting. Setting early boundaries and talking about them with your partner is really important. It’s also ok to tell others that you’d rather not hear their recommendations right now or mention that a comment may have upset you.
- You have to form your own decisions for you and your family. This goes along with setting boundaries but there are a lot of decisions to make throughout pregnancy. From things like will I breastfeed or formula feed, to what color to paint a nursery, or even deciding if a nursery is important for you! Read a lot, do your own research, ask for opinions (if you want them) and then make a decision and move on. There are so many different brands of baby products and it seems like everyone has their own preference based on what worked for their family. One example is that my husband and I decided to go with an audio baby monitor (this one) vs video…this is (apparently) very controversial. Most people have told me I’m crazy for not getting a video monitor but my husband and I both don’t like cameras in our home and felt like we would get anxious. Nothing is permanent so we can always change our mind but we made a decision and stuck with it based on what we needed as a family.
- Secondhand things are amazing. Babies don’t need new things. Consignment shops, FB Marketplace, borrowing from friends, etc is great. Of course there are some things you will want to buy new (carseat, maybe the crib mattress, etc) but there is so much you can get used that will save you so much money. Check out your local mom groups – other moms are so generous and want to help.
Like I mentioned before, this list could be 100 bullets long but these really stuck with me throughout my experience and now that I’m a mom! What things would you add to this list? What did you learn when you became pregnant?
xoxo, LL
Little Libbie 
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